How to Be Smarter

(After you read this article, you'll undoubtedly change your fabulous life. We'll explain at the end.) Scenario: "Dude! I'm as smart as I can be. I learned everything in college. Yay!" An American television show that's receiving a semi-plethora of media attention calls itself: "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" The kids intellectually destroy the adults in answering basic elementary questions -- seemingly -- 95% of the time. The culprit? As adults get older, they're less likely to work their brains; as a result, their brainpower starts draining like a mofo. Think of it this way:

  1. Your brain is like a muscle.
  2. The less you work it, the more you weaken (atrophy) it.
  3. The more you work your brain, the more you strengthen it.

How to Weaken Your Brain

Like most adults progressing through their lives, Teddy lives his life this way:

  1. 1st-6th Grades: "Yay! I'm learning the basics!"
  2. 6th-12th Grades: "Yay! I'm learning more complex stuff!"
  3. College Years: "Yay! I'm learning specialized stuff!"
  4. Entry-Level Years: "No need to learn! I learned everything in college. Yay!"
  5. Managerial Years: "I learned everything in college. Yay!"
  6. Executive Years: "I learned everything in college. Yay!"
  7. Retirement Years: "I learned everything in college. Yay!"

The ^ of times Teddy goes on a learning rampage after his learning years: Zilch. As a result, his brain gradually becomes dumber...and dumber...and dumber -- until he starts a daily habit of forgetting his keys, birthdays, appointments, yadda, yadda.

Competing in this world by relying on your school years?

That's like arm-wrestling the current Ultimate Fighting Champion by relying on your bench-presses in college. To keep your brain fresh, remember: Knowledge = Power boost = Sexy.

"But...what if I've learned nothing in decades?!"

Don't fret. It's all good. According to researchers, it's never too late to start strengthening your brain. Think of it this way: a frail 88-year old dude can start working on his biceps, and he'll see noticeable effects within a week. Because your brain is like a muscle (like your biceps), you'll start strengthening it with some frickin' good knowledge -- and see super-rad effects within the same week.

"So, how can I strengthen my brain?"

Anything that involves a mental exercise works great.

  • You wouldn't want to train with 2-pound weights to build muscles.
  • Likewise, you wouldn't want to pick up some 2nd grade arithmetic textbook to boost brainpower.

Instead, seek arenas where you can get that mental energy workout -- you know, the ones that give you that super-sexy-fresh-feeling afterward. Some examples:

  1. Read a well-researched management book.
  2. Brush up on your marketing studies.
  3. Learn something new in your industry.
  4. Study how humans/employees work.
  5. Do a crossword puzzle.
  6. Solve the Rubik's cube.
  7. Play some chess.
  8. Learn a language (for you nerds: a programming language!).
  9. Read Trizoko! (He He He..)

End the day with one sweet question: "What did I learn today?" Keep us in touch when you win a Nobel.

Sidebar: "Will this article really change my life?"

You betcha. Regardless of what you do after this article, you've already changed your life by altering your subconscious (just for reading this article -- thanks!). It's in the sexy research


  • In a single semester, [Columbia Researcher Lisa Blackwell] reversed [her] students' longtime trend of decreasing math grades.
  • The only difference between the control group and the test group were two lessons, a total of 50 minutes spent teaching not math but a single idea: that the brain is like a muscle.
  • Giving it a harder workout makes you smarter.
  • That alone improved their math scores.

Yay for you!

Work your brain like the !@^^% that it is.


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Posted on March 16

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