Trizle

Myth: "Dude, to be the greatest leader ever, I have to have the world's greatest ideas. People will love and follow me. Yay!" Blah. Blah. Oh. Blah. Listen to any political ad in this quarter-billion dollar campaign season, and you'll see a common theme:

• "I have all the ideas."
• "I know where to steer our city."
• "I know how to make the state better."
• "I know how to fix the county's education."
• "I know how to improve the state's economy."

Oh-mutha-no-they-didn't!

The best politicians are nothing but the most "charismatic" bastard sitting on his/her ivory tower hawking their ideas like they mean something.

Instead, the best leaders embrace their ignorance.

They rejoice in the statement: "I suck."

They understand they won't know every-single-freakin'-thing.

And, they'll compensate for that: they'll recruit folks who -- cue the drumroll please -- freakishly know more about improving constituents through the economy, health care, environment, small business, education, and whatever else -- than they ever, ever will.

Why Most Political "Leaders" Got it All Wrong

The freakin' media, the freakin' politicians themselves, the freakin' newspapers, the freakin' journalists make this 2006 campaign season seem as if it's a "Who-has-the-greatest-ideas?" contest.

That's why you get bad organizations run by horrible leaders: You attract people with humongous-freakin'-egos trying to come in with all the answers, thinking they're Mister Big Shot with the Big Ideas.

A typical panel discussion goes:

1. Moderator: "How will you improve the economy?"
2. Politician: "I'll improve the economy by...."
3. Moderator: "And education?"
4. Politician: "I'll improve education by..."
5. Moderator: "And health care?"
6. Politician: "I'll improve health care by..."

Look, Mister Big Shot: Your ideas suck.

"Oh fo' shizzle?!" First, a specialist will kick a jack-of-all-trade's ass in improving: _______. Second, your ideas rarely come to fruition.

A study by Marakon Associates and the Economist Intelligence Unit asked the leaders from the world's leading organizations how they: "developed long-range plans and how effectively they thought their planning processes drove strategic decisions." What happened? "The results of the survey confirmed what we have observed over many years of consulting: The timing and structure of strategic planning are obstacles to good decision making." Planning sucks because the planner-idea-Big-Shot-person acts as if the world's standing still for them to meticulously implement their crazy ideas. The world's moving, and if you're not catering your decisions to the moving-world, you're making lousy decisions. Harvard's Henry Mintzberg describes planning's major flaw:

According to the premises of strategic planning, the world is supposed to hold still while a plan is being developed and then stay on the predicted course while that plan is being implemented.

What the World's Greatest Leader Did

If politicians just scream from rooftops: "Dude, I don't know that much. I don't have any world-changing ideas. I just build kick-ass teams. That's why I'll get a superstar at every single freakin' position, get out of their way, and empower them to rock the world" -- we'd buy them all Carne Asada tacos. The greatest president in the mutha-flukkin world followed that philosophy: the incredibly handsome Abraham Lincoln. That cat told his people upon entering the Oval Office: Look, I know nothing; I need help. So what'd he do? He got the greatest people he could find: his fiercest rivals who likely talked about his mama during the presidential race, and gave them key positions. Lincoln filled every single freakin' important position with the best the country had to offer -- no matter the political ties. He dumped his ego to keep America intact.

Too bad we don't have too many Lincolns.

Read any political ad, and: freak, it's Me, Me, Me, Me. "I know everything. Everybody better vote for me and my ideas; my opponent's stupid." $^@!$!@@$

• "I'm the dictator, and everything runs through me."
• "I have all the ideas. I will get people to implement them."
• "My opponent doesn't know anything. I do. Vote for me."

Blah. Don't lead like politicians. Your badass has so much more potential.

Embrace the "I Suck" Philosophy

When you're rocking your business, you know you won't have all the ideas. Someone out there knows something way more than you do. Your job: find and empower that person to kick-ass for that part of your business. The template for ya:

"I suck at: ___________, so I will find someone to rock at it."

Myth: "Dude, if we build super-duper widgets, they'll come to us. We'll make billions! Yay!"

True, you might have the most super-optimal, super-crazy, super-good widget in town; but, it takes more to attract new customers.

When people make first contact with your business, they'll use subtle clues as indicators to your company's quality.

A couple spelling errors in your marketing brochure? They'll think you sell sloppy products.

A pristine brochure on the other hand? People will think you sell some pretty good shizzle.

Freakishly beatify your entire customer-experience, and you'll subconsciously let new customers know your products rock.

Consider No-Experience-Car-Buyer You

You have no experience buying a used car. You're going to two used-car dealerships:

1. "Omi^@!gosh! Is-that-a-mutha-bluckin'-rat in that-mutha-bluckin'-corner?!"

   Empty bottles line the corridors; trash fills past rims; bathrooms have weird odors; dirt becomes the hallmark of the offices. Nice cars, though.

2. "Oh-fo-shizzle. The place is pimpin' with luxury."

   Pristine. Amazing. Shiny. Nice people. Nice clothes. Happy faces. Like the first dealership, nice cars too.

Now, you ask your bad self: "Considering both sell nice cars, where would I rather buy my used car?"

Unless you're high on something, you'd choose the prestige dealership. Why? Subconsciously, you think:

• They've taken better care of their cars.
• They've thoroughly tested their cars.
• They'll fix car problems for any future issues.
• They're more trustworthy.

The subtle clues about the second dealership drove you to choose the second dealership -- all without saying a word.

How are People Perceiving Your Business?

New customers are already making judgements on your business. Peep this:

• You see: a high-school basketball team filled with 6-footers and a couple 7-footers
  
  • You think: "This high school team rocks."
• You see: a beautiful twenty-something lady and her 75-year old husband
  
  • You think: "Golddigger. Baby-robbing perv."
• You see: a watch priced for $3,500
  
  • You think: "This watch uses kick-butt material."
• You see: a dirty restaurant with angry people
  
  • You think: "Unhealthy food."
• You see: a clean restaurant with happy people
  
  • You think: "Good food."
• You see: an ugly software box
  
  • You think: "Bad software."
• You see: a sexy software box
  
  • You think: "Passionate software."

Building great products is just half the battle. To influence new customers, great business-builders fully cultivate people's perceptions of their products.

If You Build, They Probably Won't Come

Most business owners build amazingly awesome products. They program great software. They make great food. They construct great homes. Yet, they lack the subtle clues: Shoddy business cards. Unattractive sales clothes. 10-minute Photoshop logos. Unfortunately then, people subconsciously judge their products as: Sucky. Luckily, the problem ain't no thang but a chicken wing on a string. The key:

Focus On the Deliciously Juicy Details

That is, for every-freakin'-detail your customer sees, beatify the mutha flukka out of it. For instance:

1. Your email messages
2. Your website
3. Your logo
4. Your corporate identity
5. Your aprons
6. Your desks
7. Your brochures
8. Your clothes
9. Your business card
10. Your ordering forms
11. Your customer service
12. Your prices
13. Your selections
14. Your __________

When you beautify every nook-and-cranny of what your customers see, you subconsciously let them know how kick-ass your products really are.

Freakishly rock every minute detail of your customer experience.

Scenario: "Dude, you're either born with it or you aren't. Yay!" But dude, that's totally not true. In an earlier post, we told your badass that a good night's rest boosts your memory. Here's another cool way to improve your memory if you're trying to comprehend some rad business book you read, learn a new marketing method, or remember that dude's business name: Drink tea. Simple, sweet, sexy, and our ancestors have been doing it for ages.

Tea = Good.

Dr. Ed Okello and his research team at the University of Newcastle found compounds in tea plants that block memory loss:

One such brain chemical is acetylcholinesterase (AChE), an enzyme that breaks down the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Acetylcholine is involved in lots of activities in the brain and the rest of the body.

Examples?

For example, it triggers muscle contractions. In the central nervous system, it is involved in wakefulness, attentiveness, anger, aggression, sexuality, and thirst, among other things.

To improve your memory this weekend:

Drink some mutha bluckin' tea like you're having the raddest mutha bluckin' teaset party on the mutha bluckin' block.

Scenario: "Dude. Just say 'I can!' Done. Yay!" Here's a better method: Meditate! When you're anxious about a business meeting, a sales conference, or whatever else, you become worried about controlling your emotions than actually focusing on your message. To calm your fears, do a quick mediation. Anxiety causes shortness of breath, compounding your anxiety; meditation then helps you breath deeper, calming your badass. Neuroscientists at the University of Massachusetts Medical School also found that:

What Happens When you Meditate

Meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex - brain waves in the stress-prone right frontal cortex move to the calmer left frontal cortex. This mental shift decreases the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety. There is also less activity in the amygdala, where the brain processes fear.

So the next time you're feeling anxious:

Meditate like a badass.

Scenario: "Dude, I just gotta tell myself: I believe in myself! I'll do that every time I'm exhausted. I'll make billions. Yay!" It's Friday, and we Trizlers are totally looking forward to a fabulous college football weekend. How are you approaching this weekend? Your choices:

• a) "It's weekend time! Time to kick it with my lovely family."
• b) "Work. Work. Work."

What should you be feeling?

Imagine two scenarios:

• Imagine running across 100 miles without stopping.
• Then, imagine yourself running in intervals -- with ten recovery breaks in-between.

What method would get you to that finish line quicker? Unless you're some all-world running freak, an overwhelming percentage of us would get to that finish line with those ten recovery breaks. Working non-stop, seven days a week, 16 hours a day, blah, blah, blah -- is akin to running that 100-mile marathon without stopping. When you experience that:

• Your work becomes sluggish.
• Your productivity drains severely.
• You drop your teamwork mentality completely.
• Your creativity becomes non-existent.
• You work at a snail's pace.

When you build an entrepreneurial lifesyle that traps yourself on a never-ending running wheel, you produce an unproductive person who's mad at the work, mad at client requests, mad at employee inquiries, and -- just-oh -- mad at the entire world. Unhappy work = sloppy work = hurting your company's credibility. It's a matter of time when you burn out completely, and then dump or sell your business for pennies. We've seen that happen too many times.

Breaks = good.

Our challenge for ya: incorporate some breaks for your badass this weekend -- then notice how your mind feels afterward. At Trizzy, we make it our absolute mission to incorporate full-recovery periods for everybody. We feel that's the only way to sustain our work for another 30-50-70-one-billion years.

"I love my work, you suckas! I'll work non-stop!"

We absolutely love our work too. We love our clients. We love coming to work. We love reading your emails. We love empowering your business to be the rock stars of your industry. Because we had so much fun, we thought we'd rather work all-day-everyday as well. But, when we started incorporating company breaks, we noticed some pretty cool freakin' things happening:

• We worked a million times faster.
• We became pretty freakin' creative mutha flukkas.
• We enjoyed our work so much more.

(Think of the first days of your business, and how excited you were. To us, after every break period -- that's how we felt: Excited to kick-ass like freakin' rock stars.) When taking your breaks, block out your work completely. Go to some remote location. Take a vacation. Key point: Do something that doesn't remind you of your work. When you come back, you'll be that much more excited about your business. More important, you'll keep yourself rockin' the world with your fabulous business for ages. We absolutely promise those suckas.

Take a break. Bake a cake. Go to a lake.

p.s. If you're going to go out this weekend, fabulous reader Terry Ng shared us his awesome article on The Art of Tipping, from his ridiculously good-looking blog. Thanks, Terry!

Scenario: "Dude, to make them instantly like our company, we just gotta tell them we have the best customer service in town. And, we're nice. Nice people rule! Yay!" Dude, there's a much better way. Try answering this sucka: How do you make Charlie -- who's never heard about your business, never met anyone in your business, never read anything about your business -- instantly like your business? Some answers:

• a) Impossible.
• b) Say you care about customer service!
• c) Make your company look sexy.

Let's pick those suckas above apart:

1. a: In business -- and in your fabulous life: Nothing's impossible.
2. b: Yeah, but a million other companies rave about their customer service. To Charlie, you're just another one of those "companies that say they have good service, but oh-no-they-freakin'-don't!"
3. c: Ding! Ding! Ding! You're correct. Carne asada tacos on us.

Why Sexifying Your Business Attracts People

Before we confuse you -- and before you send us hate mail -- let's define what "sexy" means: "Sexifying your business" means creating an image for your business that visually attracts your target customers. "Fo' sho?" Oh, you betcha.

First, think of your business as a person.

It has values. It has a personality. It has a manifesto.

• It loves: __________________.
• It dislikes: __________________.

It has heartaches, and it has triumphs. When customers interact with your business, it's like they're interacting with a pseudo-person. For instance:

• Apple: rebellious designer dude
• Starbucks: cultured, environmentally-conscious dude
• Nordstrom's: chic fashionista

Like looking at somebody's appearance, your business's corporate image becomes what everyone first notices.

Why Sexify Your Business

Without interacting with your business in any way, people will already have assigned associations to your business. Think of the usual scenario when meeting someone attractive:

1. Jane: Oh fo' sheezy. Kathy, look at that freakin' oh-mi-gosh hot guy!
2. Kathy: Oh-mother-gosh. Oh-mother-gosh.
3. Jane: He's coming toward our table. Ahhhh!
4. Hot Guy Hugo: Hey. See ya around.
5. Kathy: My heart just melted.
6. Jane: Ahhhh! I bet he's super nice, and ambitious, and loves his parents, and cares for third -world children. He'd risk his life to save a dolphin.

It's the classic halo effect: assigning freakishly positive attributes after judging one independent quality. (And folks, it works vice-versa.) When you see someone/something attractive, your subconscious mind starts associating that positive feeling with other positive-but-totally-independent feelings. According to researchers Eagly, Ashmore, Makhijani, & Longo in Robert Cialdini's Influence: "We automatically assign to good-looking individuals such favorable traits as talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence. We make these judgements without being aware that physical attractiveness plays a role in the process" Some examples for ya:

• "In one study, good grooming of applicants in a simulated employment interview accounted for more favorable hiring decisions than did job qualifications."
• "A study of the 1874 Canadian federal elections found that attractive candidates received more than two and a half times as many votes as unattractive clients."
• In another study, researchers found that "the handsome men had received significantly lighter sentences."
• And another: "A defendant who was better looking than his victim was assessed an average amount of $5,623; but when the victim was more attractive of the two, the average compensation was $10,051."
• And finally, Cialdini concludes: "[The good-looking] are better liked, more persuasive, more frequently helped, and seen as possessing more desirable personality traits and greater intellectual capacities."

So without any interaction whatsoever to your business: if people are freakishly attracted to your corporate image, they will form freakishly positive associations to your business.

To Get Your Badass Started...

Some ways to make it the most beautiful sucka on the block:

• Clean your floors, your desk, your face.
• Clean up your corporate identity (logo, business cards, letterheads, etc.)
• Have your front-line workers wear fashionable clothes that attract your target market.
• When you're meeting customers, put that big smile of yours on your face,
• Your ideas: ____________________________________.

So when you're out running your fabulous business, remember.

To attract potential customers, sexify your business.

Scenario: "Dude, Apple sells their computers for a humongous chunk of cash. Dell sells theirs for basement-bottom prices. We gotta attack the middle. We'll make billions. Yay!" Peep this: You're buying a watch. You have three options:

• Watch A: $25
• Watch B: $250
• Watch C: $2,500

What do you buy among the 3?

If you're like most of the human population, you'd either go for the cheapest watch ($25) -- or the most expensive watch ($2,500). That middle-range $250 watch? Eh. Nope. Trash it. That's human psychology for ya: When you're a cheap bastard, you squeeze as much out of a penny as possible; and, when you're feeling like MC Hammer, you spend a humongous chunk of cash like it ain't no thang but a chicken wing on a string. (That's how you explain why yacht-buyers complain about their cell phone bills.)

Study: High-end or Low-end, Only

When consultants at Boston Consulting Group researched the lower-end, the middle-end, and the higher-end of purchasing markets, they reached this conclusion:

1. "Trading up and trading down were big opportunities for companies and for consumers."
2. "Both ends of the market offered huge opportunities."
3. "Markets were bifurcating, which meant that the top and bottom were growing and the middle was in horrible decline -- and that is creating quite a few casualties."
4. "In every category we looked at -- and we studied 30 of them in detail -- there was this war."
5. "The war was for this consumer to either trade up or down or to evacuate."

"Examples, please?" We're glad you asked:

• "In the car business, the middle market has shrunk by 12 market-share points."
• "In the television market, it has shrunk by 40 points."
• "In the U.S. washer market, the middle market has declined by 16 points, and on and on."

The key point: when pricing a brand name's products, choose either the cheap-@ss end -- or the highest end. Stay clear of the middle -- because it sucks more than you know who.

"But hey, I have bought $250 watches!"

You're either in one of three camps:

1. You're in the shrinking minority.
2. You're supporting the company because of some personal connection.
3. Most likely, you were younger than 20 years old.

Regarding ^3, a $250 for a watch puts your >20-year old butt head-and-shoulders above your peers -- if you're living in the average American community, of course. It's akin to buying the latest Air Jordans when you were a kid -- knowing you had the most expensive shoes at your school; then when you got a sweet position in your 30s, you "graduated" to Cole Haans. That means that Buyer Bobby has his own definitions for what's cheap and what's expensive. To attack his specific market, price your product in a way that meets either of those two ends.

If America's Most Admired Companies Does It...

It's something you might not have noticed: how six of Fortune's 2006 Most Admired Companies price their products. The quiz for your badass: For the following companies, denote each as (a) "Low-Priced", (b) "Middle-Priced", or (c) "Freakin'-Expensive."

1. Starbucks
2. Southwest Airlines
3. Fedex
4. Dell
5. P&G
6. Toyota

The answers: 1) c; 2) a; 3) c; 4) a; 5) c; 6) a&c. If you got them all right, grab a Carne Asada burrito on us: you've noticed how thriving companies cater to consumer psychology. "But what's up with Toyota?" We'll explain below.

"Look, you sons-of-biatches: I want to sell cheap stuff to attract economic buyers. But, I also want to sell luxurious stuff to grab rich buyers. I see good opportunities in both. Can I still do it?!"

Oh, you bet your badass you can -- but not in a way you might expect. Toyota sells their trucks and cars on the lower-end under their parent brand name. For the pricier cars? You guessed it: Lexus. Now, if Toyota sells their Lexus line under the "Toyota" brand name, they'll send messed-up signals to consumers. Why? People associate symbols with certain brands using their pricing structures -- as the quiz showed you above. Blame it on the pricier buyers, who are infatuated with the status a rich brand name brings. When Buyer Bill buys a sweet lookin' $150,000 Porsche 911 Turbo, he doesn't want his car to be associated with a $12,000 automobile. If it does, he'll seek another brand name that will comfort him with the exclusivity he wants. If you're targeting two different markets, distinguish your filthy rich items from your cheap items as much as possible (i.e. with two different brand names, identities, color scheme, etc). Your bottom line will thank you. So when you're choosing a pricing structure for a brand name, use this sucka:

Under my brand name: ________________, people associate the name with:

• a) low-priced
• b) expensive

Scenario: "Dude, we just got to motivate the sucka out of 'em. They'll meet those customer deadlines like a mofo. Yay!" You won't get your people meeting deadlines on a viciously consistent basis unless you do one thing.

How Most Managers Enforce Deadlines

Before we tell your badass what that one thing is, notice how most managers enforce "deadlines":

1. Manager Marie: "Yo, have you finished customer Chrissy's project? It's due today."
2. Employee Ernie: "Not yet! Still working on some important parts. I'll get it to you on Monday."
3. Manager Marie: "Sure. I trust you know what you're doing. I empower you. I'll tell customer Chrissy."

Monday rolls around...

1. Manager Marie: "Done?"
2. Employee Ernie: "Nope. Still adding those important features. Wednesday. Promise."
3. Manager Marie: "Sure."

Three weeks later...

1. Manager Marie: "You done, you son-of-a-biatch?"
2. Employee Ernie: "Not yet. I'm still fixing some bugs."
3. Manager Marie: "The client needed the project weeks ago!"
4. Employee Ernie: "Two more days. Promise."
5. Manager Marie: "Okay."

And the vicious cycle continues....

Most company managers, and they have have good hearts (and we love 'em), want deadlines met -- but they enforce nothing to drive their people to meet them.

The solution to missed deadlines?

Enforce vicious consequences for missed deadlines. We affectionately call it the "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative. It's sexy, juicy, and delicious. We'll explain what exactly "vicious" means.

How To Enforce Your Customer Deadlines

We're bombarded with short deadlines from our clients. If we don't come through, we're in heaps of trouble. Not only do missed deadlines make us look pathetic, they push back other projects. And you know what happens then: That phenomenon severely

1. weakens our cash flow,
2. hurts our bottom line,
3. demolishes our credibility,
4. and worse: keeps customers waiting.

So we've enacted this rockin' rule for deadlines -- the fabulously sexy "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative:

If you complete your work before your deadline, you earn 100% of your money for your project. If you don't, we remove 20% from your pot, 20% from our pot -- and return that to the customer. And, for every day your project's late: We remove an additional 20% from both parties' original pot. Badasses wanted, only.

(Customize to your business, of course.)

1. For instance, say customer Craig wants a white paper for $2000.
2. You hire Johnny for $1000 to write a white paper for customer Craig. Craig needs it done 7 days.
3. If Johnny doesn't get that paper to customer Craig in 7 days, you remove $400 ($200 from you + $200 from Johnny) -- returning those Benjamins to customer Craig.
4. Now, if Johnny again misses it on the 8th day, you remove another $200 from both parties. And, so on -- until the sucker's free to customer Craig.

The "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative keeps your players on top of their games, and fiercely drives your people to meet those freakin' deadlines.

Why the "No Deadline Left Behind" Initiative Rocks

"But my people will hate me. Ahh!" Don't trip. Here's why the initiative rocks:

1. You get extremely kick-ass feedback.

   Johnny misses a deadline. You know something went wrong. You tell your bad-self you need to understand what happened:
   • Was the project too complex for him?
   • Did Johnny have the necessary skills required?
   • Did he understand what the client needed?
   • Did he have the necessary resources?
   • Or, is he somebody who just slacks off?
   
   When a team player misses a deadline, not only does it hurt that player's pot -- but it also hurts your company's overall profits on the project. That viciously drives you to understand what caused the missed deadline -- to ensure it doesn't happen again. For instance, if Johnny lacked the necessary resources, you know you'll have to provide him with the resources required -- or you both lose money. But if he's a slacker? You know he doesn't belong at your company. Rule of thumb to remember: If Johnny can't accomplish his stuff on time, you know either (1) you've put him in the wrong position, or (2) he's not a good fit at your company.

2. You separate the badasses from those who can't cut it.

   Enforcing the "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative keeps your company tickin' & rockin' with great people. It quickly weeds out those who can't kick-ass on time from those who could. (Besides, who'd want to work for free?) At the heart of every kick-ass company lies great people who accomplish kick-ass things on time. That's what the business world calls: Execution. Google's filled their headquarters with them, so has Starbucks, so has Walgreen's, and so has Enterprise Rent-a-car. Those companies are a major cut above their competition because they obsessively focus on juicy execution. The "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative ensures your company keeps on ticking with people who execute.

3. You ensure your customers sweet happiness.

   When you enact the "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative, you ensure your customers' sanity by either
   1. accomplishing deadlines, or
   2. providing them kick-ass deals if your company misses those deadlines.
   
   Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen? The customer receives a free product because of those successive missed deadlines. And trust us: Most customers would rather get free stuff.

To get your people on rockin' those customer deadlines, remember:

The "No Deadline Left Behind" initiative drives major on-time ass-kicking.

Scenario: "Dude, I procrastinate because I don't feel like doing it. I just don't. Yay!" Dude, you're procrastinating because you fear your imperfections.

1. You fear your work will suck.
2. You fear Sally will laugh at your work.
3. You fear Jim won't respond to you.
4. You fear you'll fail, miserably.

Fear drives us to procrastinate by viciously trapping us from taking action. It's as if we're silently voicing to ourselves: "I don't want to do Bobby's project, because I fear that I'll do a bad job." Says procrastination expert Dr. Neil Fiore: "The main reason people procrastinate is fear. They get overwhelmed and they're afraid they'll look stupid." The solution? We give you two rules:

Rule ^1: You embrace your suckiness.

Sometime, somewhere, in some twisted development of the modern human mindset, we saw imperfection as a bad thing. "Hey, if it's not perfect, it's not good enough!" most of the world would scream. But, that portion of the world misses something: Without incessant failures, we wouldn't discover Einstein's formula, Edison's light bulb, Walton's supercenter, the Wright Brothers' aircraft, or Ford's democratized vehicle. Failure has defined those who have kicked the most ass in this freakin' world. It defined the greatest thinkers, the greatest historians, the greatest economists, the greatest entrepreneurs, the greatest chefs, the greatest Nobel Laureates, the greatest anything. Failure's juicy good because it steers us toward the correct route. Peep this analogy: Imagine that you've suddenly lost your vision, you're in your kitchen, and you're trying to make it to your bedroom. The best way to get there: By using the walls/objects/tables/etc. that you'll hit (a.k.a. "failures") as guides toward your destination. It's akin to working on your business projects: you won't know the perfect route to get to your destination, but you'll use failures/imperfections as guideposts to construct the destination's route. When you embrace your suckiness, you drive yourself to do something -- anything.

Rule ^2: You are a badass. You don't need to do anything. You choose to do it.

Going back to your childhood days: Remember when your parents, teachers, guardians, bus drives, and whoever else would tell you: "Yo. You have to: _______. Then, you have to: _______. Then..." How did the "have-to's" make you feel? Probably reluctant, and you wanted to rebel: which you likely did by half-@ssing the job. According to Fiore, using the "I-have-to's," drives your mind to subconsciously "confirm the impression that the task is awful and painful -- one you wouldn't do if you had the free choice." Instead, when you replace the "I-have-to's" with the "I-choose-to's," you empower your mind to become fully assertive and open to kicking ass.

Chillax.

Entrepreneurs have enormous dreams. Yet, most become too scared of being imperfect to do something about those dreams. Don't let a perfectionist attitude prevent you from doing whatever it is that you want to do: the universe's biggest visionaries were some of its biggest failures. That is, you want to be "imperfect" if you want to do kick ass. So when you're out building your empire, just remember: "I'm a badass that chooses to do: ________________. My several suckinesses will then pave my road to rock the world."

Scenario: "Dude, I've got a million bucks up the heezy, going to get a Viper for my warehouse, and about to buy 5-acres of land in Menlo. Salute me. Yay!" You know the people we're mentioning at those networking functions: The superhumans that seem to take over the room by flashing their supposed wealth. Rest easy. Most people who claim they're something probably aren't that something. It's a common narcissistic trait, and you've probably been around more this month than you can count with two hands. You know, the people who claim:

• Claim: "I have a team of 100 software developers in India."
  Truth: I use Rent-A-Coder.
• Claim: "My revenues grew 500% last year!"
  Truth: My revenues grew from $100 to $500.
• Claim: "My company's won 7 technical excellence awards!"
  Truth: I created those awards myself.
• Claim: "I just bought a $1 million house!"
  Truth: My mom just bought it, and she's giving me the basement.

Those crazy folks. But, we love 'em for their spunk.

It Doesn't Just Happen to The Narcissistic Folks

Now, don't confine yourself to the narcissistic ones. Most of the population tend to overgeneralize who they say they are -- of course, not to a big extent as those beloved folks above. If you feel finding yourself "inferior" to the rest of the networking crowd, don't trip: Most are probably embellishing their accomplishments. Researchers from the University of British Columbia conducted a study with 211 students that tested their over-generalizations:

Students [were asked] to rate their knowledge of cultural referents such as The Lusitaniaor Pygmalion, as well as non-existent items such as "El Puente" or "1966 Glass Animal."

Results from the Narcissistic

Students with narcissistic character traits (as determined by an earlier personality test) were more likely to express familiarity with all items, including the fake ones.

Results from the Non-Narcissistic

Subjects then viewed the same items and new ones, and indicated their certainty about what they'd already seen. Subjects given more time to reflect on the items were just as likely to falsely claim familiarity with them, leading Del Paulhus, Ph.D., to conclude that over-claiming is an unconscious process.

So the next time at you're at a networking function, take what people say with a grain of salt. At the least, they're probably embellishing a bit. If you really want to know who they are, log onto Dun & Bradstreet, and check some financials. And if someone's claiming their some spectacular superstar that's trying to make you worship him, just use this beauty:

"Joe, you live in your mom's basement, son."